WORK


Work sucks.  For real.  I wish I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up.  I wish I could put my finger on what it is that I could do for a living that would make me feel accomplished when I went to bed and excited when I woke up in the morning.  I’ve come to realize that this “job” does not currently exist in the area that I currently live in, so if I could think it up, and make it work, then it would be the first of its kind in town, and would therefore have to be successful.  I read one time that Paula Deen (sp?) started out as a single mom making sandwiches and lunches and then driving around town to different businesses and selling her food to business men and women who didn’t have the skills that she had in the kitchen.  Why can’t I do that?  Because I don’t have those skills.  Oprah built her empire after reporting on a local news station in Chicago.  Why can’t I do that?  I can read.  And I have facial expressions.  And I do think I’d do a better job of transitioning from the sad news about traffic fatalities and such to reports on the new sno-cone stand opening at the corner of blahty-blah and blah-blah.  But still, I don’t know if that would make me happy.  Plus I think you have to have some sort of communications degree to read the news on the air.  Whatever.  They should have to have a personality degree.  I’ve certainly got that.  Not a real degree in personality, as no such thing exists to my knowledge, but I’ve granted myself an honorary degree in personality.  It’s a Masters. 

I could go on about my sparkling personality, who really wants to read about that?

Maybe I could list my strengths / weaknesses, and I could take opinions from you about what I should do.

STRENGTHS (which could read more like interests, but for the purposes of this–just assume that I’m also good at the things that I note that I “like”):

1.  I’m a people person.

2.  I like to be challenged with short-term projects.

3.  I enjoy reading and learning about subject matter that most people find mundane and/or choose not to concern themselves about.

4.  I perform well under pressure.

5.  I enjoy making lots of money (note: do not assume arbitrary “good at this” here.  Does not apply.)

6.  I am smart.

WEAKNESSES (and consequently dislikes.  If I am not good at these things by now, I have no intention of ever becoming good at them, and therefore would NOT enjoy attempting them.)

1.  I enjoy working with people up to a certain point.  There is a fine line between taking care of people’s problems, and becoming their bestest friend and confidant, or the go-to person with matters which are best left to assigned professionals for such problems.  For example:  Totally random and certainly not a real person’s problem, as stated by this completely made up person who is totally fake and not real: “I have a problem.  My doctor says I need a nerve block.  But I don’t want to have that done, because my aunt said she had that one time and she couldn’t walk for a long time after that.”  Me: “I don’t understand why you are telling me this.”

2.  Long term projects are my nightmare, and all I’ve done for the last 12 years.  I get caught up in the details and they bog me down.  I have a hard time remembering what my last decision was for the next step, and I just let it sit there until something forces me to re-make the decision.  See also:  Procrastination.

3.  I sometimes get side tracked while researching things for work projects because I find a speck of information that may have something to do with me or something else I want to learn about, and then I go off on a wild goose chase that ends in learning absolutely nothing relevent to my current project. 

4.  Sometimes pressure builds up within me and explodes in the form of a shouting match with whomever has caused the overflow valve to fail.  While this is not a frequent occurrence, it has happened and the repercussions are not real easy to handle.  I try to reserve these failures for “at home” displays, but sometimes they leak out into the real and/or work world.

5.  I have never made lots of money and probably wouldn’t know how to manage it anyways, which would ultimately end in despair and my own chapter in a book  loosely based on the movie “How to  Lose Friends and Alienate People.”

6.  I am a smart ass.

To really get the proper responses here, I need to let you know what my general employment requirements are.  I need to work 8:30 ish to 5:00 ish Monday through Friday.  I’ll need health insurance and retirement benefits, as my current retirement plan is the Powerball.  That plans not really working for me so far.  

Okay.  Let me know what you come up with.  I’m counting on you.

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About zohrbak

Zohrbak is an old email username I had a while back...it's a made-up twist on two characters from Spaceghost. Zorak and Brak. I'm a geek. I am a married, working mother of 4 children, ages 4-15. I also have interests outside of my children, but I can never remember what they are.
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4 Responses to WORK

  1. aimee says:

    HMmmmmmn well, if u could change up the hours part and spend time learning about roof supplies and how to measure one, and do not have a fear of heights, you would be a perfect project manager. Our PM’s made bn 40,000 and 125,000 last year. :-). No retirement. You will need an IRA, and I know a good insurance agent.

  2. zohrbak says:

    I’m not all about heights. Can I do this job from the ground?

  3. annette says:

    I think that being a “smart ass” is genetic!!

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