I hate stupid.

I say this all the time.  I hate stupid people.  This implies that I have an intolerance for people with an IQ that is less than mine.  That is not the case.  I hate stupid. People with really low IQs don’t know any better.  Stupid is knowing better and doing it anyway.    

I can’t simply define “stupid” for you, because sometimes certain things are stupid and sometimes they aren’t.  To determine whether something or someone is stupid you have to look at all the circumstancces surrounding the person and/or thing on a case-by-case basis.   Here’s a few examples: 

Tattoos are not stupid in and of themselves.  However, a tattoo that reads “Gangsta” in John Hancock signature typeface that scrolls around a person’s neck who is also holding a baby or working at Applebee’s, is stupid.  You are not a gangster, sweetie.  You are stupid.  Also, unless you are a war veteran with various military memorabilia on your forearms hanging out at AmVets and chain-smoking while re-living your youth with other people of the same variety, a tattoo, when aged beyond say 35 years or so, is stupid.  Think of all the people in nursing homes in 30 years with saggy, distorted tattoos and how funny the nurses will think they are:  “Did you see that blob on Ms. Green’s left boob?  What do you think that used to be?” “It was a paw print. She told me that when she came back from the hospital from her broken hip. RRRAAAOOOOWWW!”

Plastic surgery is not stupid.  Many people are born with abnormalities that justify such measures of correction.  Ears that stick out too far can certainly impede on a girl’s self esteem.  Nose jobs are okay by me too.  I can even find lots of ways to justify tummy-tucks and liposuction.  But have you seen these women (and more recently MEN) who have had so many procedures done that they are left with only a characature of their former face?  It’s like they went into a machine and came out a TV Guide cover cartoon of themselves.  Sometimes they look like lions or ducks.  That’s just stupid. 

People who honk at you when the light has turned green are not stupid.  Honking is sometimes neccessary, as some people will sit at a green light so long that you wonder how they were able to get a license to drive when clearly they are blind.  But people who honk before any human with reasonable eye/foot coordination can see the light change and subsequently make the transition from brake to accelerator, are stupid.  Just how big of a hurry are you in, Jackass?  Because now I’m forced to go very….very….slow.  I hope that this doesn’t make you late for your superhero convention, because I’m sure that’s where you are heading with those superhuman reflexes. 

The list goes on and on.  And in any given day, I could come up with 10 or more. (I may post additional stupids as they occur.)

For the young people who might be reading this:  We parents can tell you that it’s okay to screw up every once in a while, and we are all thankful for that.  But try not to do anything permanent, like get a tattoo of your favorite band tattooed on your forehead.   They probably won’t be around long, but your forehead will be with you forever.  Unless you get it taken off with plastic surgery, in such case you will look like a goob, and the act of pulling your facial skin up to meet your hair line will likely impede your vision, which will  make you drive stupid.


About zohrbak

Zohrbak is an old email username I had a while back...it's a made-up twist on two characters from Spaceghost. Zorak and Brak. I'm a geek. I am a married, working mother of 4 children, ages 4-15. I also have interests outside of my children, but I can never remember what they are.
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8 Responses to I hate stupid.

  1. Aimee says:

    I think I’ll go get me a tattoo of a blob. Just save time.

  2. Pat says:

    So many instances, so little time! Love it!

  3. Jennifer says:

    You just expressed my exact feelings. Thank You!

  4. arien78 says:

    I’ve got one word for this post….Hilarious!!! exasperating but hilarious…exasperating when we remember all those moments we come across these people you mentioned and more.

    Hilarious is the way you put your exasperation to a good post…:)


  5. Pingback: How much stupid can you tolerate? « Single Mommy Makin' It!

  6. Pingback: What day is it? « Zohrbak's Blog

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