School Daze


School is only two weeks and three days away.  I’m really looking forward to it.  I can’t wait for the fun and excitement that awaits our family.  Here’s a snapshot of my brain at the moment.

School uniforms:  check.  Kinda.  I think all four have everything.  Let’s start with their heads and go down.  Shirts?  Yep.  Belts?  Uh, no.  I think I have two out of four.  Pants/skirts/shorts?  Tween C needs 4 more pairs of pants (and the ones she likes are $24.99/pr.)  Socks?  No.  I need 4 super size bags of different size socks.  I’m gonna get all white this year, I’m tired of matching up socks.  Better yet, I could get a different color for each kid.  Tween C, blue; Big E, white; Little B, red; and Little A, pink.  Shoes?  Yep.

School supplies:  Nada.  I think there is a kinder-mat somewhere in my car.  And I saw a pencil yesterday, but I think I threw it away because Little B wrote his name on the fireplace, then gave it a second thought and went back and wrote Little A’s name nearby so that I wouldn’t know which one wrote it, in pencil.  You can give Little B a piece of paper and a pencil, and he will draw forever on it, then get up, walk over the a wall, and scribble his name.  I’ll wait until the last minute to get school supplies.

Backpacks:  Big E, yep.  Tween C, can only have a trapper-keeper thingy, still have to get that.  Little B, yep.  Little A, I think she can only have a tote bag, which I still need to get.

Mornings at my house during the school year are utter chaos.  Big E refuses to get out of the bed until I have told him nicely once, gone back and reminded him again, yelled out “Get Up!” no less than four times every time I think about it, and finally go back in with a wooden spoon and beat him all about his head and body through his comforter and threaten his life.  Then he says, “Okay!  You don’t have to hit me!” Tween C does pretty good with getting up and ready without much prodding.  Little B whines first thing in the morning, demands his coffee milk before he will agree to get dressed, and then can never find his shoes.  Getting Little A ready for big school will be new, but she’s so excited about school the biggest problem here is that pre-k doesn’t start full time until nearly a month after the other kids.  She will be pretty ticked about that. 

Bus pick up/drop off time:  Big E, will catch the bus around 6:45; Tween C, around 7:15; Little B and Little A are supposed to walk to school because we live within a one-mile radius of their school.  Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.  They are 4 and 5, Mr. School Board Transportation Administrator.  They cannot be dropped off before 8 a.m., and the car line is long.  I will be late for work.  Big E will get off his bus at home at about 2:50; Tween C at about 3:20; and the little ones are supposed to walk home at 3:40.  Here’s the plan for this:  Big E will walk down to their school, retrieve them and walk them home.  We have two kiddy leashes that look like monkey back packs that he will have to use to herd them home, like a dog sled driver.  What a nightmare.  In January, if all goes as planned, Big E will have his driver’s license, and can go pick them up in the car line.  I’m super excited about this gameplan, as it hinges upon my eldest son being responsible for my two youngest. 

When they get home, they are supposed to self-administer their own home work to the lengths that are humanly possible, leaving ONLY the unattainable tasks for me to help with.  When I get home (5:30), I will be cooking like a mad person (because I’ll be mad about cooking) so that we can eat at a reasonable hour (6:30 ish) so that there’s still time to clean up the kitchen and all four of them have baths and/or showers, then bed time at 8:30.   By 9:00, I’m generally so exhausted that I’ve passed out in the recliner. 

That’s about the time that I pick up Little B’s school bag, and notice the note paperclipped to the outside of the bag that says, “DON’T FORGET:  MY SNACK DAY FOR 25 KIDS IS TOMORROW!”  Damn.

They’ll be papers to read and sign, extra “wish list” supplies to pick up, posterboards for student council elections, modeling clay for projects, lunch money to remember to send.  Last year I got a “final notice” from the cafeteria because I kept forgetting to send Little B’s lunch money.  It read, “If you do not pay by Friday, we will be forced to serve your child a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead of the standard school lunch.”  I thought for a moment….hey…he LOVES peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!  But I sent the money instead.  I think that “lunch money” for all four kids this year will be the approximate equivalent of supporting an entire tribe in Africa each month. 

Yeah.  I really love school.  I can’t wait for it to begin.

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About zohrbak

Zohrbak is an old email username I had a while back...it's a made-up twist on two characters from Spaceghost. Zorak and Brak. I'm a geek. I am a married, working mother of 4 children, ages 4-15. I also have interests outside of my children, but I can never remember what they are.
This entry was posted in Family, Humor, Parenthood, School. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to School Daze

  1. Pat says:

    Sorry. Remember…this too shall pass. I know you don’t believe me but it’s true. Love you.

  2. Aimee says:

    I think maybe we could switch households and the kids would never notice. LOL.

    Actually, I think my situation has gotten a little better. Cody will be driving himself & Aron to school this year. And Cody is pretty good about gettn to school on time. So, Aron will be too.

    And the school bus hits the end of the street for Cole and Jake at about 10 after 7am. So, this year, I don’t have to drive anyone.

    And, I think that policy they have there about living within a mile or whatever is FREAKING ridiculous. Evan (Stacey’s son) has always gone to and from school from my parents bc she lives at Cotile and understandabley doesnt want him going to Northwood. They have that dumb “too close for the bus” policy , but bc of the traffic, they wouldn’t ALLOW HIM TO WALK HOME. So, he couldnt ride a bus, and he wasn’t allowed to walk bc of the pick-up traffic. Geez. That is so retarded.

    ANYWAY….

  3. Wendi says:

    I am voting on the colored socks! I think that is a great idea…

  4. Rebecca Tisdale says:

    This sounds like the life of my niece Julie. exactly, including the “mommy tone” that coordinates it all. Julie is my sister Jane’s daughter………….she was barely 13 when her mom died. I feel like I have been her parent ever since, even though she didn’t live with me. But I sure did a lot of mom-ing over the phone! She’s here this weekend and I have one or two spending the night with Aunt Becky (my grandmother name). We have to take turns. We too have one who is starting big school for the first time. The school’s name is Maddely Ranch. What a hoot of a name! She is a pistol and I hope the school is ready for her. This whole bunch is a very close part of my life, daily, weekly, monthly, etc. They live not too far from Houston, up toward College Station way. I get to see a lot of the chaos you spoke of………….upclose and personal. Sounds like the ages are about the same too. Julie has a hs senior, a hs freshman (only boy), and a 6th grader and Kindergartener.

    I love the way you have described things………….very vivid, even if I hadn’t had the mental picture of our family in your description. I like the chatty style, the way it all flows. I esp. loved the mental image I had of the leash/dog sled driver procedure. I KNOW how much trouble the younger two will give him for that!

    I think I’ll share it with her. She’ll love it. And I did too. Thanks for sharing with me. I think I must be weird to love teenagers so much to have chosen to spend my entire adult life hanging around them, when so many others in the world detest them. God Bless the mothers and the kids too!

    • zohrbak says:

      Send the link to Julie…there’s power in numbers and she knows better than anyone that our lives are made to be laughed at…because otherwise all we’d do is cry!

      Thanks for the support, Miz Tiz.

  5. annette says:

    Zohrbak,

    Might I suggest a mantra??? Nothing obscene either. I know, how about happy hour? I sometimes feel like my head is going to spin completely around when one of my kids yank my chain. Yes, I do have an “exorcist” voice and I’m not afraid to use it!!

    I feel your frustration and also see the humor. Richard and I are truly blessed to have brought two healthly kids into the world at such a late age but it’s utterly exhausting. I won’t even mention the thanklessness.
    My guess is you and Zohrhubby are wonderful parents. I dread school starting, too. We manage to get through it and can’t believe when another year passes so quickly.
    Hope time flies for your family and this upcoming school year.

    • zohrbak says:

      Annie-I think the fact that we haven’t killed one of them by now proves we are pretty good parents. Then again, considering that that is my ‘standard’ I guess we are mediocre at best. 🙂

      • annette says:

        Many evenings, I’ve met Richard at the door with my purse on my arm and said “don’t worry they’re still breathing”. You talked about using a wooden spoon on Ethan. My Ben went through a phase of wanting a different technique to rouse him for school every morning. He wanted me to throw open his bedroom door, hit the lights, pretend to play reveille, and yell “fall out soldier”! I did and he sat up smiling. He also asked that I waken him by throwing water in his face. I did and he sat up smiling. He’s a freak, I know. I love your blogs and could probably write a few interesting ones myself. I’ll send you a copy of my tongue-in-cheek Christmas letter from a few years ago.

      • zohrbak says:

        OMG that is hilarious!!

        Sent from my iPhone

      • zohrbak says:

        May I post this here?

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