I have bunions. You might have thought that only old people have bunions, but, while I can arguably be called old now by some people, I have been blessed with these things since I was very young. What are bunions, you may ask?
Wikipedia defines it as follows: A bunion is a structural anomaly of the bones and the joint between the foot and big toe, and it may be painful. A bunion is an enlargement of bone or tissue around the joint at the base of the big toe (metatarsophalangeal joint). The big toe may turn in toward the second toe (angulation), and the tissues surrounding the joint may be swollen and tender.
In layman’s terms, I have jacked up feet.
As a result of my jacked up feet, I have to be very particular about what shoes I wear. I have, therefore, worn the same sandals for the past 4 years. I’ve purchased 5 pairs so far. When they stop making this style, I guess I will be out of luck. In the winter, I am forced to wear shoes that will inevitably cause my feet to hurt, and by 5:00, I generally limp home, throw the shoes as far away from me as I can, and put on my sandals.
I used to be jealous of people who could wear cutesy tootsie shoes and heels and such. Now, I realize that while some people think that my feet are deformed (and they are right) no one has acknowledged the fact that women who are able to float around like a gazelle while wearing a pair of 3 inch stilletos clearly have some sort of deformity. It’s so obvious that there must be some sort of calf length/foot length ratio distortion that results in the angulation of the foot, requiring the insertion of an object of adequate length to allow the person’s heel to be supported when the foot attempts to make contact with the floor.
Consequently, when these bella donnas are not wearing their heels, they are wabbling around on their tippie-toes like drunk ballerinas. They can’t possibly be able to walk in a regular, flat pair of shoes. It’s just not humanly possible.
Maybe I don’t have it so bad.
Please do not comment to this post if you take the position that you can walk in both heels and flat shoes, as this will spoil the scenario I have fabricated in my mind to justify my jacked up feet.