“Mom, my bathroom is Stink!”

This is why I’m late for work all the time.

Snapshot of my morning today:

I’m trying to blowdry my hair, and little people keep coming into the room and shouting, “Mom!” So, I have to keep turning the blowdryer off to say, “Okay, okay, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Little B (from the kitchen): “Mom, you didn’t put enough sugar in my coffeemilk!”

Little A (from the bathroom): “Mom, I pee peed on my panties again!”

Me (from the laundry room–I mean–Dressing Room): “B, drink it or don’t drink it, I don’t care. You are not getting any more sugar!” “A, come here and let me clean you up and change your clothes!”

Little A: “But mom, I pee peed in the potty, but I didn’t wipe myself and it dripped on my panties!”

Me: “I don’t need details, I need your butt in here!”

Little B: “Mom! Can I have some grapes?!”

Me: “Yes, B, you can!”

Little B: “Mom, was it very nice for me to ask for permission?!”

Little A: “Mom! My bathroom is STINK!”

Me: “Yes B! Thank you! A, flush the toilet!”

Little A: “But I didn’t poo poo in the potty, I just pee peed!”

Me: “I don’t care, A, just flush it!”

Little A: “But that’s not why my bathroom is stink! You need to clean it!”

Me: “A, flush the toilet please!”

Little A: “But that’s not why it’s stink! I just pee peed and my pee pee does not stink!”

Me: “Pee pee does stink, A! Flush the toilet!”

Little A: “No it doesn’t, not MY pee pee!”

Little B (who’s now attempting to go in the bathroom): “Move! I need to wash my grapes!”

Little A: “Get OUT B! I’m trying to use the bathroom!”

Little B: “Move A!”

Screaming erupts. I have to get up, go in there and referee the Smackdown. Again.

I cut short my beauty regimen, grab my mascara and lipstick, and head towards the door, stopping only to wake up the husband and say, “I’m LEAVING for work!” and try to disguise the pleasure in my tone at having been able to make such a statement.


About zohrbak

Zohrbak is an old email username I had a while back...it's a made-up twist on two characters from Spaceghost. Zorak and Brak. I'm a geek. I am a married, working mother of 4 children, ages 4-15. I also have interests outside of my children, but I can never remember what they are.
This entry was posted in bad kids, Family, Humor, Parenthood, The Joys of Parenthood and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to “Mom, my bathroom is Stink!”

  1. sandysays1 says:

    I humans have the same problems with their kids as we canines have with our pups. “Don’t eat from the cat litter box,” or “Not on my sleeping pillow,” or “Stir but don’t shake the cats,” or “Don’t eat Mrs. X’s bra,” and on and on and on…..

  2. I love it – the perfect representation of chaos…The thing is, as crazy as this time is, I believe there will come a time when you actually miss it. It is hard to say ‘cherish the chaos,’ but darn it: Cherish the Chaos. One day they will be all grown up and your mornings will be peaceful – but not as fun

  3. mamawlou says:

    Over the years, our house jokingly became known as Wynn Motel. You can always turn your house into a motel for the kids (and back in their single days, their friends) like we did, only it’s always free. Now its not the kids, it’s the grandkids and now great grandkids. That way, “Chaos” is always around. Never a dull, quite moment around here. One leaves, another comes in their place. But that’s okay, I’m waiting for payback time…mine….lol…Chaos, always chaos

    • zohrbak says:

      I used to criticize my parents for always saying, “Once you leave, we will NEVER let you back!” Lucky for me, they reneged on that deal, when it was necessary, for a little while! 🙂 Now that I’m raising four kids, I understand WHY they said that, as every deterent you have in your arsenal has to be used to prevent the ongoing chaos that would ensue!! (those were alot of big words all put together!)

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