Bullshit. Everything most certainly does NOT happen for a reason. People only say this to you when you are discouraged because things are going badly. I know the intent is good, but the saying implies that you being led down a pre-determined path that, in the speaker’s opinion, some Divine Force (whether the God you and I believe in or some other force) has arranged for you and that you have no choice in the matter. I disagree with this and all its implications so strongly that when someone says it to me, I can’t see past the suggestion that God somehow played a role in my being in a bad situation, to appreciate the intended encouragement at all. People are just trying to say something positive, when they don’t know what else to say. In truth, sometimes bad things happen for no reason at all. Sometimes bad things happen because either you or someone else did something that put you in the situation, or you are simply at the wrong place at the wrong time.
Next time you are forced to give spur-of-the-moment advice to someone who’s had a tragedy or is just in a really bad place, don’t pull the easy “everything happens blah blahty blah blah” BS. That’s like “Oh, hey, nothing I can do. God did this to you, and there’s some lesson you are supposed to learn or something really bad you’ve done that you are being punished for.” Say something infinitely profound, like: “Shit happens, buddy” or “Is there something I can do to help you?”
If you are in a situation that is bad, be proactive to get out of it. Ask for help if you need it. Pray for guidance, patience and strength. Don’t assume that you have no choices. Do grow from each experience. Learn how not to get there again. Learn how to deal with things that you had no control over at all.
But also, find comfort in the fact that God didn’t do this to you, but He will help you through it if you let Him.
Sorry to get all religious on you guys. But this is one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in the past year, and I thought I’d share my thoughts for whatever it’s worth.
And by the way, I’m still working on executing the advice I’ve given here, as though I was some sort of expert on the subject. I make the same mistakes over and over. I’ve postponed heartache by letting others get away with hurting me. But I have learned to pray about it and take control of my emotions. And it helps to have learned that God’s not punishing me for anything, he didn’t put me where I have come to be. I have. And others have. And some of it, was randomly dropped upon me. And I can deal with all of it.
I promise put out a funny post later in the day. This has been weighing on my mind and writing is free therapy.