Yay! It’s Confession Thursday again! Thanks to all who shared last Thursday. It was pointed out to me by YaYa that I may have overshot the lead-in confession, and made everyone feel overwhelmed at trying to top me. I’ll have you know that was the worst thing that I could ever SHARE with you guys, so don’t feel like you have to top that…it’s all downhill from here.
Here’s my confession for today:
I’ve always had trouble staying organized and remembering things. It’s gotten worse, but I finally have recognized my shortcomings and have made some adjustments to the way that I do things to TRY to compensate for them. This story comes from a time when I was probably at my WORST when it came to remembering important things.
About 7 years ago, when my two oldest kids were about 5 and 9, they were latch-key kids. They got off the school bus together at about 3:45, and stayed alone until I got home at about 5:30.
One day in the winter (I remember this, because by the time I got home it was very very dark), I didn’t get my usual phone call when they got home from school. I forgot, at first, that they existed, but then at about 4:30 I remembered that I didn’t get a call, so I began calling. The phone just rang and rang and rang and rang. I wasn’t worried at first, I thought maybe they were just in another part of the house and didn’t hear it. The second or third time I called I decided that they probably had left the phone off of the charger (again) and the battery was dead. I couldn’t leave work to go home and check on them, because I was working on a deadline. When I got off at 5, I had to stop at the grocery store because sometimes I forget that we have to eat EVERY DAY and I hadn’t defrosted anything to cook that evening. Between the time that I walked into the grocery store and walked out, I had pretty much forgotten my concern that the kids hadn’t answered the phone, but I remembered as I walked to my car, in the dark, at 5:45. When I pulled into my driveway, I realized in an instant what was the matter. My house was the only one on the block that was dark. My heart dropped, because I thought for only a moment that the kids weren’t there. Where would they be? It was dark outside. Then, I saw the flashlights coming from inside.
Crap. I forgot to pay the utility bill. The phone was cordless, so with no power, there’s no answering it, or hearing it, or calling your good-for-nothing mother to tell her that it’s dark in the house.
When I opened my car door, I was met by two smiling and excited kids, who couldn’t wait to tell me that the power had been out since they got home, and that they were playing with the flashlights waiting for it to come back on. I didn’t point out to them that all the neighbors’ lights were on, as I grabbed the utility bill out of my desk and locked up the house. We headed to my parents’ house, which was just a half-mile away. I hated to have to walk in their house and remind them of what a loser I was. They wouldn’t be surprised at what I had failed to do, but, damn it, I had worked so hard to make it appear that I was finally in control of things. (In retrospect, I don’t doubt for a minute that they have ALWAYS known that I have never been in control of ANYTHING.)
To make matters worse, when I arrived at my parents’ house, to use their telephone and try to figure my mess out, with lights and heat and such, they had company. My aunt and uncle were visiting. Awesome.
So, when I had to walk in and admit that I had failed to pay my utility bill, the jig was up. And I was exposed in front of “God and everybody” for what I really was.
I called the utility company, and luckily they accepted a check-by-phone. My utilities were turned back on in about an hour.
So, there it is folks. While my utilities haven’t been disconnected since then (that I can remember) I am still that person. I have to work extra hard to remember to do things that you people out there seem to do with such ease. I don’t get it. What’s missing in my brain? How do I get some of it?
Okay, now it’s your turn. And don’t forget, we don’t judge one another on Confession Thursday. 🙂