I have two major trust issues in my life, concerning things very close to my heart, that I tend to take for granted way too often. It breaks my heart to have to disclose these chinks in my armour. The things that are affected by these two major “players” in my life are near and dear to my heart, and ever so important, but I only acknowledge thier respective importance when they fail me, which is of late a large problem in my life. I depend on these things immensely and often–once per day, 6 days per week.
The first one is my alarm clock. The second one is the automatic drip timer on my coffee pot.
Let me sum up the coffee pot deal real quick: I can’t tell what time the clock is set for when I’m drowsy, so unless I set this up relatively early in the evening, I end up with either the clock time wrong, or the timer thingy wrong, and about once to twice per week, I awake to either NO coffee, or even worse, a pot that was brewed between 2 and 3 a.m. This definitely cuts into the time that I schedule myself in the morning for ME. ME TIME at my house is between 5:45 a.m. and 6:15 a.m. If my coffee is not ready at 5:45, then the 8 minutes or so it takes for my coffee to drip reduces ME TIME to 22 minutes, which makes me ME TIME deficient for the entire day, and potentially into the rest of the week.
Another way to become deficient in ME TIME: Oversleeping.
My long-time companion, a nameless faux-wood finish alarm clock that my parents purchased for me at Wal-Mart about twenty-years ago while I was still at home, finally bit the bullet about two months ago. It didn’t have any fancy bells and whistles, but it did what I wanted to. It buzzed when it was time to do so, and when I hit “snooze” it allowed me to sleep, by it’s grace, for a standard seven minute snooze period, after which it repeated it’s buzzing sound. This could go on inevitably, until I chose to manually turn off the alarm, but to do so required me to be alert, so that I could manage to push two separate buttons, both of which required some force, in unison. After all of our years together, after all the cursing and beatings this alarm clock endured under my care, it finally gave up.
I went right out to purchase a new one. I was kind of excited about it, having spent so many years looking upon the same old alarm clock. This one I purchased at Target, for about fifteen bucks. It’s a Sony “Dream Machine,” and came with some pretty cool features, I thought, BEFORE I began using it.
Here’s the problems with it:
Snooze time: 10 minutes. I can’t adjust this to the standard 7. Senseless. I require–on average–3 snoozes. To account for this, on my old alarm clock, I simply set the “TIME” ahead by 21 minutes. Logically, you would think that this is pointless, and to an alert, awake person, that may be true. But a drowsy, barely awake person is fooled by this every time. However, 3 – 10 minute snoozes equals 30 minutes. Try to set the time ahead 30 minutes on the pretentious “Dream Machine”…and guess what? You can’t. The time automatically sets itself. With like some GPS magic stuff. Seriously. I don’t know how it works. It’s magic.
Also, I have had several bouts with hitting the snooze bar, and instead of the buzzing stopping, instead it is replaced by the loudest talk show radio program in the world. Which scares the hell out of me, and then I either slap at it like I’m being attacked by a bear in my sleep, and thusly accidently turn “off” the alarm because it’s easily turned “off” with a simple twist of a knob, OR, I shoot straight out of the bed and rip the cord out of the wall to make it stop. I’m up, but I haven’t been loftily awoken from my sleep like I was with my old alarm clock. Dream Machine, my ass.
This morning, I was startled out of my sleep by a VERY LOUD TALK RADIO HOST.
I went to let the dog out at 6:00 a.m. I noticed Tween C was lying on the couch in the den. I asked her what she was doing up.
“I woke up really early this morning, and I thought there was a man standing in my bedroom shouting at me…it really freaked me out, and I couldn’t go back to sleep.”
“Um. Ooookaaayyyy.” (still half asleep, I didn’t quite make the connection…)
“No, seriously, mom…it wasn’t even like a dream, I really heard a man yelling out random stuff at me, something like…’YOU CAN’T BUY GROCERIES FOR CHEAP!’ I’m serious. It really freaked me out.”
“Oh! That was my alarm clock.”
So, there it is. I don’t trust my coffee pot or my alarm clock. I depend on them so much that their failures leave me feeling like I’ve been abandoned and left out in this cold world all on my own. No matter how hard I try, I’ll always have a hard time trusting them from now on.