Cleaning House

…and this is a GOOD day.

I used to love to clean house.  I really did.  It was nice to get everything put back in its rightful spot, shine up the things that were supposed to be shiny, organize the clean laundry and put it away, and fill the house with the smell of freshly-scented disinfectants.  It brought me peace and made me feel like I had accomplished more in one morning than I had managed to accomplish the entire week before put together.   But now?  Not so much.  There are several things that I can think of that contribute to my recent lack of enthusiasm when it comes to cleaning. 

1.  I NEVER actually FINISH cleaning now.  I don’t ever really get that ‘sit down, relax, and enjoy the smell and sights’ sensation anymore.  My house is too big, for one thing.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t live in a mansion, by any means.  It’s just too big for me to clean all the things in one spurt.  And by the time I start Round 2, all of the things that were sparkly and cleaned during Round 1 have already been screwed up. 
2.  The Laundry Demands associated with 6 people is ridiculous.   I’m sort of a control freak about laundry.  If it wasn’t done correctly from start to finish then it almost wasn’t worth having been done in the first place.  If something is hanging in the closet all wop-sided and wrinkled, I’m certainly not going to iron the damn thing before it gets worn, so instead I will just re-deposit it in the laundry for another go-round.  (those were a lot of hyphenated words in one sentence.)  I have a system, is all I’m sayin’.  You can’t tell by the photo above (yes, I’m opening up a little and letting you into the secret world of the Zohrlaundry room) but there’s a method to my madness.  I do pretty good at keeping things under control, but when it comes to that laundry room, if I let things slide for just a moment, utter chaos ensues.  And the socks!  Oh my God, the socks.  I actually talk to the socks when I am trying to sort and fold them.  When I wash and dry and fold, all socks go into a bin in the corner.  Then, when a majority of the members of my household are OUT of socks, and have resorted to scrounging through the bin, then I will take the bin, sit down and try to sort and fold them.  This is when I speak to them.  I curse them when the matching sock hides, and make smart ass comments to them when I finally find them to assert my dominance over them.  It’s pretty crazy, now that I think about it, but it’s totally true.  Also, no matter how careful I am, I inevitably wash odd things with my laundry.  In the past year, I’ve ruined an entire load of dress clothes because I failed to locate a tube of hotpink 12 year old girl sparkly lipgloss; an ipod and a cell phone belonging to my eldest son; and most recently washed a load of “chocolate scented” clothes, the smell I noticed immediately but couldn’t quite place until I found the soggy chocolate tootsie-pop wrapper at the end of the load in the dryer.
3.  There are too many THINGS.  I am a very simple person.  There are very few things I require to get through a typical day.  Zohrhubby, on the other hand, if left to his own devices, would be a poster boy for the TLC show, Hoarders.   I am known for exaggerating, but I’m on this I am dead on.  The bigger our house is, the more room there is for ZH to stash shit.  It’s disgusting.
4.  I don’t really care anymore.   If I’m being honest (and that’s really the whole point of this blog, isn’t it?) then I have to admit that this one is probably the biggest.  I used to give a rat’s ass about the cleanliness of my house.  But the battle has been lost, I’m afraid.  I’ve resigned myself to live in a half-ass clean house for at least the next 10 years.  I’m tired of scrubbing little kids’ scribblings off of walls, cabinets, and floors.  And so I’m just going to leave them now.  And before I repaint EVERYTHING, I’ll take a picture for posterity.  
So, my point is, if you arrive at my house unannounced, it will be messy. If you call ahead of time, it may still be messy.  And I don’t even really care, either. 
If you care, then come over and clean it anytime you want.   And I’ll let the socks know you are coming.   

About zohrbak

Zohrbak is an old email username I had a while's a made-up twist on two characters from Spaceghost. Zorak and Brak. I'm a geek. I am a married, working mother of 4 children, ages 4-15. I also have interests outside of my children, but I can never remember what they are.
This entry was posted in Bad mother, Blogging., Family, Humor, Parenthood, The Joys of Parenthood, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Cleaning House

  1. Aimee says:

    OMG….THis is MY life. YOu copied this from my brain right?? lol.

    I may go take a picture of the “sock basket”…Dont worry. I will ask it first.

  2. Aimee says:

    speaking of the socks….one day, a year or so ago. I was having a really bad day….In a fit of anger I actually dumped all of the unmatched socks into the trash and went and bought all new socks. Cost me like 60 bucks. guess what. The next week the damn basket was full again. LOL.

  3. YaYa says:

    I remember the 1st time you said, “Hey, wanna help me clean my house?” “Sure” I replied and then you had me haul stuff to the road, even the kids toys, they only needed a couple to keep, you said. I couldn’t believe it, but then I began to grasp this wonderful idea and did the same. I throw out my husband’s crap when he is out of town! & for some reason when YaHubby does our laundry he refuses to do sock & underwear. He will leave them in the basket & so everytime he sees me doing laundry I make sure to point out his underwear & socks are on his dresser and NOT still in the basket. If I allowed YaHubby he would also be a fellow hoarder, but it is one of the few things I will completely loose my mind over and become an out of control bitch about….

  4. ChaseK8 says:

    great post, and I know exactly how you feel… life is too short to spend all day cleaning…and really what is the point when as you said…after round 1 you just have to start again anyway….LOL don’t worry I too live in a messy house and I agree if people don’t like it they can feel free to pop over and give it a shine, otherwise mind the mess and make yourself at home!

    • zohrbak says:

      I still wish my house was clean, though. I’m eventually going to break down and pay someone to do it. I’ll make the kids miss two meals per week to compensate the lady who does this for me. 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by! I see we have a quite a bit in common…our temperments and having children!

  5. Summer says:

    Oh… the laundry. The stupid laundry. I am OCD about the laundry too. When helping hands are extended, we end up with pink whites or white towels with black blouses. I only have 5 people, and I will never be able to say the words, “The laundry is done.”

    • zohrbak says:

      I’m not perfect, and sometimes jack up the laundry, but at least it has a fighting chance if I’m the one doing it. Laundry detergent is too expensive to waste and I hate buying clothes…so I’ll keep the assignment. I’m glad I’m not the only one who’d rather do it and bitch about it than let someone else do it.

  6. ZOHRMOM says:

    I am sure that this is where I should interject how “one day you will all miss it when there are only two of you in the house to do laundry for. (Did that participle just dangle?) However, I will say right here and right now that I do finish laundry and seldom if ever lose socks anymore.
    Some things I do miss about not having 6 people in our house anymore, this laundry business is just not one of them.
    House cleaning is another matter though, I used to clean top to bottom every week. Now I vacuum the bedrooms occasionally and since Zohrdad thinks operating the battery powered Swiffer qualifies, I just let him do it and give him praise so he keeps on doing it. LOL

  7. Mother Hen sympathizes. Coops don’t just clean themselves either.
    (See link for illustration: )
    Two probably annoying suggestions:
    — cleaning one room completely can sometimes be more satisfying than cleaning a bunch of rooms partially
    — sticking a damp (clean of course!!!) washcloth in the dryer with wrinkly clothes for five minutes de-wrinkles them, at least up to MH’s standards

  8. zohrsis says:

    love it Love It LOVE IT !!! you already know that’s how I roll lol

  9. shelley says:

    since i’m always coming up with hair-brained ideas to make money (ha. ha. ha.) i thought i’d start a “come to you laundry service.” it would be great. someone would come to your house once or twice a week and do all your laundry, since it seems to be the most hated chore for most people. wash, dry, iron, fold, hang, put away. everything.
    but then i realized: I HATE LAUNDRY! so who in the hell was going to provide this magical service? b/c it sure as hell wasn’t gonna be ME!

    so there you are. anyone with some extra time on her hands and a little ambition….all i’m saying is you could make a fortune! I’d hire you.

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