I hope that the title convinced a large number of people NOT to read this post. Because my confession today is a bit personal and some might say embarrassing. If you are reading this, in spite of the title, then I must remind you of my NUMBER ONE rule for Confession Thursday: We do not judge each other on Confession Thursday. And by “we” I mean “you” and by “each other” I mean “me”.
Here’s my confession on this Confession Thursday:
I pee in the shower.
Oh, come on! It’s not that bad! I mean, it’s not like I’m bathing in the toilet. And I don’t pee in the bathtub, or the pool. I would even have a hard time peeing in a lake unless it was an emergency. But peeing in the shower just seems so natural. Here you are, nekkid, with warm, soapy water running all over you…the real question is…why WOULDN’T you pee in the shower? You are conserving water inasmuch as you are saving a flush every time you opt to pee in the shower instead of the toilet. It’s totally green. Hell, even Madonna does it. I say that as though Madonna has such high moral and ethical standards. That’s not what I’m proposing. I’m only trying to say that people do this, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. (Right?) I mean, urine is sterile and studies have shown that it’s possible that peeing in the shower helps fight athlete’s foot. *Disclaimer: I am not independently aware whether there are such studies, and whether they do, in fact, show that athlete’s foot can be prevented by urinating on one’s feet. But I saw it written somewhere once.
Also, I think there are much nastier habits that people have in the shower that we should focus on. Por ejemplo: How come some people don’t use washcloths to bathe themselves? I’m sorry, but there are certain “parts” of my body that require the use of an accessory such as this. And I don’t just mean my never-you-mind parts. Like, ear canals, for example… because Q-tips are for the follow-up work that a washcloth wrapped over a little finger just can’t get to.
Additionally, since I am the human being
assigned resigned to cleaning the damn shower, I see no reason why I can’t do whatever the hell I want to in there. If you’ve ever cleaned a shower, then you know that shaving in the shower is a much nastier habit than peeing in one. The little hairs just hang out there until you clean it. The pee pee is gone before you ever step out of the shower. Here’s another pet peeve of mine: Automatic Shower Cleaner. It’s not so much the product I am opposed to, it’s the advertisement for it. They actually say it Gets a Dirty Shower Clean in Days! Now, just exactly how frickin lazy do you have to be to go through the trouble of going to a store, purchasing this product, and then installing it in your dirty ass shower and then waiting for three days for it to clean it?! Really? And how does it magically clean your “dirty” shower. What does it do with those little freshly-shaven hairs and the little bits of soap left over from old bars that falls to the shower floor and turn to absolute goo? Does it just vaporize them? And so what the hell is it going to do to your shower walls if it’s capable of such feats?
Anyway. I sometimes forget that people read the stuff I type. I’m sorry that this confession was a total TMI Fest. Forgive me. But remember, judge me not.
Now, it’s your turn.