Manic Monday

Today was the first day back to school from the Thanksgiving holidays for the Zohrchildren, and I knew going in that I’d be crazy busy at work today.  Did I get all the kids’ school accoutrement (you looked that up weeks ago, remember?) ready last night?  Did I check and re-check whether the God-Forsaken Sony Dream Machine was set and ready to go at 5:45 a.m. this morning? 

The answer to both of these questions is no, of course.  I thought I did good when I fixed my coffee pot and checked to make sure it was set for the right time.  But I was wrong. 

Now, some days, I really feel like writing, but I have trouble coming up with a subject for a post.  Today, the second thing I thought about when my eyes opened at 7:15 was “Well, at least this morning will lend itself to a good blog post.”  I can’t tell you what my first thought was, because it contained too many expletives, but the jist of it was “I can’t believe what an idiot I am…” because I didn’t even set the Sony Dream Machine last night. 

So, I could write about how crazy my morning was getting all the drowsy children up by yelling out how late we all were.  But then, I thought I might write about how strange it was that when Little was startled to life this morning, he stumbled out of bed, completely naked, and wandered around for a few minutes seemingly unaware of his nakedness.  Then, when he realized he was naked, ran  to dress himself before he thought that I would have noticed.  I watched the whole time in dismay.  I have no explanation for it, whatsoever.  I could write about how Little A has refused to take off her new pink bunny watch she got as a Happy Meal prize since Saturday, when Aimee came over and asked her over and over again if she could have her watch, and further that she thought it was her watch, and she’d better give it to her, etc. etc.  Since Saturday, Little A has slept and bathed in that watch.  So, this morning, when I told her it was time to take off the watch because she couldn’t wear it to school, she screamed “NO!” over and over and over.   Finally, I gave in.  Wear the dumb watch.  I don’t care.  But then, I thought that I would write about how mad Tween C was at me for making her late for school, by merely seconds, and causing her to have to go to the office to check in.  She wouldn’t even look at me.  I told her I was sorry, but she just said, “Yeah.”  I felt bad, for a minute.  But then, I could also write about how Big E was late for school (all my fault) and when he walked into the office to check in, his ID badge was turned around on his collar, which revealed to all of the office staff the following words, scribbled in sharpie:  “You’re Taylor’s bitch. So suck it.”

I know this, because when the assistant principal at his school called me, and I began to take up for Big E, telling him how my alarm clock hadn’t gone off (I didn’t mention the part about my not having set it), he interrupted me to tell me that he was calling to let me know that Big E had been suspended for two days as a result of the above.  I asked him if he thought that Big E wrote that, and he said he didn’t know, but it didn’t matter.  He knew it was there.  And I had to agree.  But I still don’t think he wrote it.  And anyway, if he was the one who wrote it, no one would have been able to read it, I know that for a fact.  I had to call Zohrhubby and tell him to turn around and go back and get him, and then had to tell him why.  Zohrhubby seemed more shocked than I was.  “What?!”  I told him to calm down, but I’m not sure if it worked or not.  I got off the phone in a hurry because I decided it was time for me to check out of parenthood and shift on over into work mode, as I’d had enough at that point.  It was 8:02 a.m.

So, I’m not sure what part of my morning I would write about if I had time to do so.  I guess I’ll just leave well enough alone and not write about any of it. 

Have a great Monday, everyone!


About zohrbak

Zohrbak is an old email username I had a while's a made-up twist on two characters from Spaceghost. Zorak and Brak. I'm a geek. I am a married, working mother of 4 children, ages 4-15. I also have interests outside of my children, but I can never remember what they are.
This entry was posted in bad kids, Bad mother, crazy kids, Family, Humor, Parenthood, School, The Joys of Parenthood, work and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Manic Monday

  1. ZOHRMOM says:

    I actually love the pic of the possum with all the babies on her back. LOL Don’t know where you are finding all the pics, but sooner or later you will run out if you keep screwing up in the mornings. lol

  2. Aimee Earl says:

    #1-The bunny watch is awesome!
    #2- Whoever educated Big E about the expressions “bitch” & “suck it” probably told him about titties a long time ago. Tween C probably knows now too. I am so glad Cole could teach it to Little B.
    #3- you need a new alarm clock …some relationships just arent worth the trouble.
    #4- Who is Taylor?? This is the important question.
    #5- At least it didn’t say, “Hey Bitch, meet me in the hall to suck my bottle of RUM”…then it wouldve been 10 days instead of 2.
    #6- I like the pic of the opossum too!

    • zohrbak says:

      #1: You’ve warped her. She’s scared to sleep now for fear you will appear and swipe the dang watch!
      #2: The term “titties” is so graphic! I didn’t mean to imply that they didn’t know what they are…it’s just we use the term “boobies” because it’s cute.
      #3: I need an implanted chip in my brain that will make me get up or kill me in the alternative.
      #4: The plot thickens, it shouldn’t be too hard to find out, since it was spelled, I learned upon my examination, “Teiylor”. And what the hell is wrong with people these days, spelling their kids’ names all stupid like that? You want your kid to be unique, you say? Well get right the hell over yourselves. Your kid is not going to be unique because their names are spelled idiot ways. (sorry for the rant).
      #5: You sound as though you are speaking from experience. (lol)
      #6: I liked the opossum pic myself…but I hate the way that word is spelled as well. I’m not sure who to blame for this though, but I will look into that.

  3. Paul Bordelon says:

    Glad to see that I’m not the only one who has a kid who obsesses over the darn bunny watch. Maggie is always wanting to wear that thing.

    Love the name tag bit.

  4. Dear Ms. Z.,
    Mother Hen is a firm believer in majoring on the majors.
    If the kid wants to wear her bunny watch, it isn’t hurting anyone, right? So it was okay to let her keep it on. There are too many important things that you will need to take a stand on, to spend energy on the little things. Who needs the hassle? Not Mother Hen, and she is sure, not you!
    As for the alarm clock issue, it is clear that what you need is a rooster.
    MH agrees with the school that it doesn’t matter who wrote the offending words, but she does find it amusing how you know it’s not Big E that wrote them!
    If the stuff is written in permanant marker, what do you do about it? Inquiring chickens want to know.
    How is Big E to spend his time while suspended? He needs something constructive to do, like paint a coop wall, or work from school, so he doesn’t think he is on holiday.
    Your life is never dull, is it dear?
    Boringly yours,
    Mother Hen

    • zohrbak says:

      Lucky for Big E, there is an infinite supply of leaves to be raked in my yard. It’s cold, windy and rainy, you say? So what!

      I wish I had a rooster, but I live in city limits and there’s a strict barn yard animal ban in place. (Sorry!)

      • Leaf raking! How suitable! It also has the advantage of implying that snow shoveling might be the next thing if he messes up again. Brilliant!
        Mother Hen despises discrimination! What, one rooster moves in, and then, there goes the neighborhood? Bigots!

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