Confession Thursday: Parental Perpetuation


My confession for today is that I have never really perpetuated the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa Claus fantasies with my kids. 

First of all, in my defense, whenever one of my kids lost a tooth, they usually LOST the tooth.  When they did manage to get it under their pillow, I’d fall asleep or forget to put a dollar under there and take the tooth, and so the next morning I would just give them a dollar.  I remember once as a kid, I opened my mother’s jewelry box and found like eight teeth in there!  I’ll never forget the smell that came out of there!  I didn’t, at first, realize that this meant that there was no tooth fairy, it just kind of creeped me out that my mother was hoarding dead body part tissue thingies in her jewelry box.  Ewwwww. 

The Real Tooth Fairy

The Easter Bunny never made any sense to me even when I was a little kid.  A huge Rabbit, hopping all around town on some bunny trail?  Delivering baskets filled with candy and messy plastic paper strips to kids all over the place?  I set up a basket for each child on the kitchen table before I go to bed, with some candy and a little toy or stuffed bunny.  And quite simply, that’s as far as I’m willing to carry on this charade.  I mean, come on. A rabbit?  Really? 

Easter Kangaroo. Now here's an idea that could have been HUGE. He's fast, and has a pouch for carrying all that dang candy.

Santa Claus:  AH!  The holy grail of parental deception.  Don’t get me wrong, here, I don’t sit each of my kids down at age 2.5 and explain to them that everything they’ve heard about a big fat jolly fellow who flies around in the middle of the night pulled by reindeer and giving presents to the “good” kids is not true.  I don’t “kill” the idea of it all.

 I’m not cruel.  I just don’t PERPETUATE the fantasy.  I use the concept to my advantage while I can.  As in: “Don’t forget to be good, Santa is watching you!”  But that doesn’t last very long, because I wrap all of the Christmas presents (even the big ones) and put them under the tree WELL BEFORE CHRISTMAS EVE, so there is no reason for my kids to think that anyone broke into our house the night before and left them a bunch of stuff.  Once I became a parent, I really thought that that idea would be somewhat disturbing to a little kid.  And also, I must confess that I just wanted to make sure that ZH and I got all the credit for the gifts.   Why should a fictional character become my kids’ collective hero the one time a year that I splurge on my kids and try to indulge their every wish? 

Dude. You are totally stealing my thunder.

Don’t get me wrong, people.  I’m not saying that it’s not okay to lie to your kids.  I just choose to deceive my children in much more original and unique ways.  For example, when we are cooking supper, and one of the kids asks, “What kind of meat is that?”  We respond, “Wild boar”, “Yak”, “Grizzly Bear”, “Ostrich” or something just as off the wall.  They all eat whatever is put in front of them, no matter what we’ve told them it is.  Sometimes you’ll even catch one of the little ones saying, “Mmmmm!  This starfish casserole sure is good!” 

  How about you?  Are you a parental perpetuator?

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About zohrbak

Zohrbak is an old email username I had a while back...it's a made-up twist on two characters from Spaceghost. Zorak and Brak. I'm a geek. I am a married, working mother of 4 children, ages 4-15. I also have interests outside of my children, but I can never remember what they are.
This entry was posted in Bad mother, Confession Thursday, Family, Humor, Parenthood, The Joys of Parenthood and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Confession Thursday: Parental Perpetuation

  1. ZOHRMOM says:

    I threw out all your baby teeth. I hope this makes you happy. I did it, but I didn’t want to. I kept thinking the tooth fairy forgot and would come back to pick them up.

  2. YaYa says:

    I love the snow affect!! I did PERPETUATE the fantasy as long as possible for my daughter & I admit it was fun.

    You were an odd child…

    • zohrbak says:

      Thanks for noticing the sneaux! It took me three days to figure out how to do that. (Just kidding, but isn’t it cool!). You are just now figuring out that I was an odd child?

  3. We don’t do Santa, Easter Bunny, etc., either. Same basic reason. My wife doesn’t want to lie to the kids. I, however, wanted very much to lie to them. As much as possible. I’m OK with it now, though. I think it’s for the best overall.

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