If you don’t have anything nice to say…


Then, for the love of God, please just shut it.  Shut. It.

It’s probably obvious that whatever warm and lovey dovey Christmas feelings which I did indeed possess for at least three or four days, drifted off as quickly as I did to sleep last night.  I awoke with a feeling of angst this morning and I think that this has more to do with a certain monthly cyclical hormonal thing than any given recent event.   (Don’t worry, guys [as in males, not as in “Hey You Guys!”] that’s as far as that will go, feel free to keep reading).  However, my having been able to identify the source and reason for my feelings today do very little to abate them. 

So, here’s the deal:  Be nice, dammit.  I’m not in the mood for any bullshit today.  And in return, I will agree in advance not kill or maim you.  Probably.

Someone ought to call and warn my kids, because I’ve been all sweet and huggy and smiley for some time now, and thusly their collective “guard” is down.  Also, Zohrhubby will be at work tonight, and I’m going to have to prepare some food product for their consumption and deal with all the night time routine stuff by myself, and so I am going to be highly perturbable (is that word?!) and the first time someone says, “He TOUCHED my STUFF!” then I will have to go all batshit crazy on them to scare them all straight. 

On that note, I am going to move on.

We had a very nice Christmas, I am happy to report to you guys.  My children were fairly well behaved for most of the Christmas-y events, despite having stuffy noses and what might have been low-grade fevers.  [Don’t worry, Zohrcuz, this was cleared up well before we visited and they played with Little R]. 

Little B (who rarely gets sick) said that he didn’t feel well Christmas Eve morning, and wanted to know what he was supposed to do to feel better.  He certainly didn’t want to be sick when it was time for Santa to bring him all his stuff.  I told him he needed to drink lots of water, take his medicine and get some rest.  He hates taking medicine.  “But I don’t WANT to REST!!”, he said.  “I know, that’s why you really have to take your medicine, and you have to drink lots of water and just rest when you feel like you need to.”  “Okay, well, then don’t give me any coffee milk.  I’d better get started on all that water.  And give me some medicine.”  (I normally have to do the whole countdown threat to get him to take his medicine…)  Little A, on the other hand, is so used to runny and/or stuffy noses and the accompanying medicine taking, that when you call her to take her medicine, she runs by, grabs the medicine cup, sucks it down, and skips away in classic Little A “La La La” fashion. 

La La La!

Santa was very nice to my children, too.   Little B kept asking on Christmas Eve to anyone who he thought would have a favorable opinion, “Hey, do you think I’m being really good today?”  On Christmas morning, he said, “Wow!  I guess I really WAS good YESTERDAY!”  Little A rode with my mom down south to my aunt’s house yesterday and told her in the car, “Hey, guess what…Santa brought me a lot of stuff even though I was bad.”  There goes THAT crucial parenting tool.  And she’s only 4.  And when I try to tell her that Jesus (aka Jejus) is in her heart, to remind her to be good, she still just tells me that she wants him out of there.  On Christmas Eve, our pastor dressed up like a shepherd to do an interpretation of the birth story from a shepherd’s point of view.  Little A perked up when he came out and said, “Hey!  Mom!  Is that baby Jejus’s Daddy?”  She kept saying it over and over so finally I just said yes so she’d be quiet. 

As for my two oldest, they are each very satisfied with their “haul” this year.  

Santa was pretty good to Zohrhubby and I, as well.  Between the two of us, we got a new grill for the backyard, and a new tv for our bedroom.  The kids have pretty much taken over the whole dang house, so if you come over, you’ll either find me in the back yard or in the bed room.  

All in all, my family is very blessed and I truly felt that with every ounce of my being. 

Until I woke up this morning, that is.

Just remember to be nice to me if you see me.  🙂   

Hope each and every one of you had a wonderful Christmas and/or Hanukkah with your families. 

P.S.  What’d Santa bring YOU?

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About zohrbak

Zohrbak is an old email username I had a while back...it's a made-up twist on two characters from Spaceghost. Zorak and Brak. I'm a geek. I am a married, working mother of 4 children, ages 4-15. I also have interests outside of my children, but I can never remember what they are.
This entry was posted in bad kids, Bad mother, crazy kids, Family, Humor, Parenthood, The Joys of Parenthood and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to If you don’t have anything nice to say…

  1. YaYa says:

    This was the longest Christmas season, EVER!! I am exhausted & glad it is over…..Yahubby & I both gave each other new watches & last night, he says is it 6:20? Do I need to go get the pizza? & I replied where’s your new watch, DAMN IT, why the heck did he think I bought it for him….

    • zohrbak says:

      Um…did you buy it for him so he’d stop bugging you with incessant questions, like WHAT TIME IS IT? Lol. That’s two you owe me for today, by the way.

      • YaYa says:

        Yes, all of his gifts were to my benefit, he’s magnetized screw driver set so I don’t have to help him put up lights, etc.. my brain is not functioning on all cylinders for the two I owe you :o> ….

  2. Summer says:

    Oh. HUNNNEY. We are in the same boat, just on a different river. I swear to fruit, if one more “That’s mine” or “He touched me” or “He…..(fill in the blank),” I am going to sack up every new toy they just received, even the Just Dance 2. Mine may be a combination of hormones, post-Holiday irritation, and spending 4 days straight with no breaks with alllllllllll of my kids and other people’s kids. My house tends to be a flop pad for pre-teen boys.

    • zohrbak says:

      If you sack up the Just Dance 2, could you send it to me? Santa forgot to bring that one to my house. I’m all kidz’d out, too, Summer. Let’s just trade for a week and see what happens.

  3. Mare says:

    I had a very lovely Christmas. I enjoyed the time with my family as well as MareHubby’s family. H and N both seemed to enjoy Christmas this year except that they were threatend before being given their Christmas gives that if I hear one time “She’s wearing my jeans/shirt/shoes/bra/jewelry” just one time I would physically and forcefully remove the the garment or accessory from the body of the person wearing it and it would be ripped to pieces and the an item of clothing from that person’s closet would also be ripped to pieces. It has made for such a pleasant few days without hearing screaming in my house and my girls are 19 and 16.
    I’m not even PMSing I’m just a mean mother.

    • zohrbak says:

      Just for shits and grins…I dare you to find an old shirt that they don’t really wear, cut it up into little pieces and put it in a pile in the middle of the kitchen table. When they ask what happened, tell them that it was left on the floor and you’re not going to put up with that. Refuse to discuss it any further. I wonder if that will make H clean her room up, finally.

      • Mare says:

        I seriously doubt it would work for her but it would send N into a fit because she would think it was one of her shirts and want to know why she was being punished instead of her sister.

  4. ZOHRMOM says:

    I had a beautiful Christmas with everybody on Christmas Eve Eve and Christmas Eve. I woke up at 8:30 on Christmas day to a clean kitchen with pancake fixin’s ready to be put together and after being served two cups of coffee as I sat on my duff on the sofa, Zohrdad proceeded to make the pancakes. I literally laid on the sofa in my pjs and alternately napped and watched tv the entire day. Around 9 PM, I took a shower and put on fresh pjs and went to bed. Did I have an awesome Christmas or what?!

  5. ZOHRMOM says:

    Oh, and don’t stress too much about food tonight. I brought a huge bag of cereal over there today. Let em eat that. ZH is not home. BTW, you are welcome.

  6. annette says:

    I love hormonal “bat shit” crazy moms. They’re the best!

  7. annette says:

    I love hormonal “bat shit” crazy moms. They’re the best!

    By the way, I loved the family photo. Thanks for sending me one.

  8. Mother Hen got a Kindle…that is, she is waiting for the Kindle that Father Rooster ordered for her to arrive!

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