What day is it?

Oh, yeah.  I’m pretty sure it’s Wednesday.  I’d better check to make sure, though.   

Exhibit A.

Okay.  Now that THAT has been established…do I do anything special on Wednesday?  I mean other than my last-minute mad dash to finish reading the chapter that I was supposed to read this past week for my class tonight.  Other than that…I don’t think so.  So let me just ramble, if you please.

First of all:  Dammit I’m cold!  I HATE cold.  I hate cold more than I hate OPRAH.  I hate cold more than I hate STUPID.  It’s not an old age thing, either, thank you very much.  I’ve always hated the cold.  I’m not a big fan of body parts going numb and I certainly don’t like getting brain freezes through my ears.  Does anyone else have that happen?  No?  Just me, then.  Okay.

Crazy eyes

I’ve got on Big E’s hunting insulated long johns…which, when used in conjunction with tighter-than-looser blue jeans makes me feel like a stuffed sausage.  I’ve got on his wool socks, too.  If I could have found his insulated undershirt in my mad dash to LAYER this morning, I’d have that on as well.  I settled for a long sleeve t-shirt under a denim button-up, a fleece jacket and a wool coat.  I was going to wear Tween C’s scarf, but she squealed when she walked outside to catch the bus this morning, so I begrudgingly gave that up to her.  It may seem silly to you that I’ve got all these clothes on just to walk from the house to the car and from the car to my office, but you wouldn’t understand unless you worked in my building for at least several seasons.  It’s an old building.  Drafty is an understatement.  It’s downright WINDY in this joint.  The summers are freaking hot and the winters are unbearably cold.  Everyone has, at his or her desk, their own heating and cooling supplemental systems (aka a fan and a space heater).  Both stay in place year-round, because Louisiana weather is so freakin’ crazy.  It could be warm in the morning, and cold in the afternoon.  And don’t try to go pee in the winter.  The toilet is the coldest spot in the whole place.  When you sit down, it honest-to-goodness takes your breath away.   There’s nothing more pleasing than literally freezing your ass off two to three times a day.  Nothing. 

Okay. I am known for exaggerating, but I'm totally serious with this one. Totally. Serious.

So, I’d like to lodge a formal complaint against the weather.  I’m not sure who to call, though.  Maybe NOAA.  Maybe the U.S. Department of the Interior.  Or the Exterior.  I’m going to call someone.  And I’m going to give them a piece of my mind.  Wouldn’t that be funny?  Crazy people do that sort of stuff all the time.  I think I could pull off crazy. 

Shut up. 

Now, in the true spirit of rambling, as promised, here’s a totally unrelated cartoon from toothpastefordinner.com, which, as you know, I heart…a lot.

I have a strict "don't associate with the neighbors" policy. I'm okay with the assumption that I am the crazy neighbor.


About zohrbak

Zohrbak is an old email username I had a while back...it's a made-up twist on two characters from Spaceghost. Zorak and Brak. I'm a geek. I am a married, working mother of 4 children, ages 4-15. I also have interests outside of my children, but I can never remember what they are.
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10 Responses to What day is it?

  1. Aimee says:

    1st: I wish we could stick pictures in the reply area.

    2nd: I have a supplement for you…called HEAT. For some reason, someone wanted to “Raise their core temperature” while exercising. Personally, when I am sprinting, my core temperature does this on its own, so I could not find much use for such a product after trying it once or twice. In La, well, its normally a bit like hell, temperature wise at least, so I would predict low sales. However, I will attest to its effectiveness. I think they put a teeny tiny fire inside the capsule. Not just any flame, but one that burns on blood, and guts, and whatever else it might encounter in the depths & bowels of a human being. When you take this stuff it is the opposite of a brain freeze. The heat rises from the core of your being and vents through your ears. You sweat and slobber and hope for the opportunity to roll around in the snow naked.

    Maybe you could use this at work in the winter. Place the bottle in the bathroom there.

  2. hahaha…. So, seriously? Usually I love cold weather. But THIS is insane. It was sleeting in Hineston after I left for work. Boy I hope it doesn’t snow… although I think Gabe would love it.

  3. PapaZohr says:

    The picture of the outhouse brought back memories.

    Time –Mid October
    Place –9000′ up in the White River Nat. Forest, Colorado
    Conditions–12 to 18 inches of snow, wind blowing,
    temperature around 0 degrees.
    Activity at the time–Standing inside the main camp, looking outside at the outhouse, waiting for “things” to get right. I have pictures of this outhouse. You can look through the cracks in the front and actually see the snow behind it. This outhouse was not a place of leisure. It was strickly for business. If you were lucky, “things” got right just as someone else got through with their business and the seat would still be warm. Now THAT was a luxury. By waiting until “things” got right, you didn’t have time to be talking off a lot of clothes so you had on just the bare minimum. I’m here to tell you that you ain’t lived until you’ve run 30 yards, under dressed and in a snow storm, and pulled your pants down and let the wind have its way with you.
    Yep! That’s a real adventure.

  4. YaYa says:

    I share your hate for the cold! Mother nature didn’t get the memo that spring is coming early or she did get the memo and she decided to end the season in style, which I DO NOT find funny. My body has been shivering for what feels like an eternity. I also hate being female today & I hate having a sty on my eye. I generally feel like crap!!

  5. Miz Tiz says:

    I think the problem is that the temps go up and down, up and down, up and down (except in the summer when they just go up)………the 2 years I lived in Canada (my runaway from home life crisis after Garry died) I knew it was going to be cold every day and I didn’t expect anything better and I wasn’t surprised when I went to bed by thinking it might be different in the morning. I discovered that -10 degrees is no worse than +10 degrees, couldn’t tell a smidge of difference. The worst was a couple of days when the wind chill went down to -45………..had to literally cover up all exposed skin, esp. fingers and nose/mouth area, when running from the car to the building. frostbite danger was less than 5 minutes at that temp. I did love it up there and the short lovely summers made up for the awful winters and springs. Actually, I never got over having an ugly Spring—March and April are still icy and very muddy with the snowmelt.

  6. I despise cold with the burning white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. Every time Wifebread says something like “Vermont is really pretty. I wouldn’t mind living there someday,” I always just say “Too cold,” and that pretty much ends the argument.

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