Drama…I prefer the kind on TV…

Let me paint you a picture of how my evening went yesterday.  You all deserve to hear about how crazy my life gets sometimes, so that you can appreciate A) how calm and predictable your own life is, or B) how your own crazy life is not the only one…

Zohrhubby’s cousin has been doing some work on the Big Ass Expedition for the past couple of days.  I drove the BAE to work yesterday and the “Service Engine Soon” light came back on.  So, he came and picked it up while I was at work to try and fix it.  I told him to take his time, that if he needed to keep it past 5, that I would have ZH pick me up, since he got off work at 4. 

As 4 approached, ZH’s cousin called to say he wasn’t quite through, and to make sure that I had a ride home.  I told him yes, it wasn’t a problem.  Before I could call ZH and tell him he’d have to come and get me, ZH called ME to say he had to work a little late, and that he should be home by 6.  So, I had to catch a ride home with a coworker.  No biggie.

I walked into my house and was met by Little B, who looked like this:

And this…

AND this…

Oh, joy.  He’d gotten ahold of a pair is scissors, obviously, and gone to town.  A few minutes later, I learned that he’d also gotten ahold of Little A’s head, though the results weren’t nearly as dramatic, THANK THE LORD!

Zohrhubby was on his way home, and heading to the grocery store to get whatever HE was cooking for supper.  I texted him and told him what happened, and asked him to pick me up a comb at the store so that I could try to sort this all out. 

Meanwhile, a severe weather system was approaching our area.  Heavy rain, flood watches and tornado watches were predicted.   I really was oblivious to how bad it was supposed to get.  You see, whenever bad weather is approaching, whether it is rain, hurricanes, floods, snow storms, freezing…whatever…my father is in charge of calling me at an appropriate time and telling me what to do to prepare for it.  My father is currently in ISRAEL with my mother, on the other side of the freaking planet…and so he’s taking off right now from his job as my personal weatherman / apocalypse predictor.  So, all of this snuck right the hell up on me.  I know, I know.  I’m nearly 40 years old.  I should be able to do this on my own by now.  But I have a lot of other stuff to worry about, so I’ve allowed myself to leave this little, yet vital job, up to my dad.  He likes it.  It makes him know that I still need him for stuff. 

So, Zohrhubby finally makes it home, and tells me that he’d gotten sick in the grocery store.  The symptoms he described sounded exactly the same as those I’d had the day before…and so it was apparent that we’d both been hit with a stomach bug.  Soooooo…that’s about the ONLY excuse he can legally use to get out of cooking supper…which leaves it up to me.  In addition, his cousin hadn’t yet made it home with our vehicle, and the water was rising outside.  He called him and told him that if it flooded, we needed the BAE to get out.  He explained that his mother was afraid to drive in the weather, so they were going to wait for it to pass.  So, it was agreed that Zohrhubby would just drive his cousin home if he would go ahead and bring the BAE now.  I had to peel and clean shrimp for salads, shave Little B’s head, trim up and disguise Little A’s hair foul, and get all the baths and other night time routine done myself while ZH traipsed around town getting the BAE taken care of. 

When I was done with Little B, this is what he looked like:

He looks like a convict. My sister said, "Felony use of a deadly hair weapon".

By the time Zohrubby made it home, and all the children were in the beds and things were beginning to look normal again, the Tornado warning was sounding, and the water outside was rising.  I was having panic attacks and flashbacks from the Gustav flooding fiasco…and the water was only inches from coming in my front door.

There’s a canal behind my house, and it was completely FULL at this point, having risen over 12 feet in less than 20 minutes.  When the weather finally passed, I was exhausted.  I climbed into bed and tried to watch American Idol…only to learn that it hadn’t come on last night.  I don’t know what the hell that was about, but I was sort of counting on something to take my mind off of my day.  This is exactly why I like to watch stupid crap on TV…it makes me forget about my own crap.  It’s another form of my Escapism coping mechanisms.  

So, I just went to sleep.   I slept like a rock.  This morning, I got all the kids ready and out the door, save for Little B, whom I’ve resorted to bringing to school every day rather than putting him on the bus in the morning.  He’s just not able to handle it, and his behavior is terrible on the bus.  On the way to school this  morning, he was trying to cover his head with his shirt, his book sack, a chair..(yes, a chair) ..and was terrified that all the kids would pick on him today.  I kept telling him that what other people think or say shouldn’t bother him.  Just tell them he got a new haircut…and I snuck off to write a long note to his teacher to ask her to try to smooth this all over for him, to prevent his likely meltdown. 

So, today is a new day.  I’m glad yesterday is over. 

How was YOUR evening?


About zohrbak

Zohrbak is an old email username I had a while back...it's a made-up twist on two characters from Spaceghost. Zorak and Brak. I'm a geek. I am a married, working mother of 4 children, ages 4-15. I also have interests outside of my children, but I can never remember what they are.
This entry was posted in bad kids, Bad mother, Blogging., crazy kids, Family, Humor, Parenthood, School, The Joys of Parenthood, Weather, work and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Drama…I prefer the kind on TV…

  1. spiceblogger says:

    You get a gold star today. …..and MAYBE some sunshine.

  2. Aimee says:

    Ya know, its posts like this that make me wish I still lived in La.

    I have to say that for 10 damn years I lived an hour from you and was always in town, and I didn’t visit you. I regret that so much.

    You are such an awesome person! And I totally get all the shit u so hilariously and shamelessly share in the blog, bc obviously my life is every bit as chaotic, and SO much the same as yours.

    But, what gets me,and makes me feel somewhat angry at myself this morning for not staying in touch with you all those years, is that we are ALSO so different. I think the differences (& of course the utter chaos of our lives)are what kept us from staying in touch for so damn long
    . Now, I just feel like I’ve missed out on so much from your friendship.

    We stress about totally different things. When I read that blog, I was thinking, seriously, about how silly it was that u were so stressed out by the weather, and having to buzz B’s head. After all, I buzz my kids heads all the time. It makes haircuts last longer, makes bath time easier, and getting ready b4 school so much less time consuming. I also wanted to remind you that B is awesome, and maybe he’ll grow up to be a hairstylist to the stars…LOL…my cousin is Pricilla Presley’s hair stylist after all, and he drives a new Mercedes.

    And, when I am obsessing about my dumb shit, u always find a way to express…in a much better way than I ever ever could, of course…that I’m being ridiculous, or at least too obsessive, or need to think about stuff.

    I guess what I’m saying is that of all my friends, u r the one that gives me balance. I love u for that. You rock.

    B’s hair is fine. Today will be better, or at least different. Remember, Black Cohosh. Black Cohosh.

    • zohrbak says:

      That was the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.

      I think I just might cry.

      I feel EXACTLY the same way about you, you know! Very well said…I couldn’t have explained our relationship any BETTER!

  3. My evening was a helluva lot better than yours! Next time I won’t complain that the lights have been off for 45 minutes… I’ll thank God that Gabe can’t reach the scissors. Yet.

  4. YaYa says:

    Ok, I’ll say.. Is that horns on Littlle B’s head?? I’m sorry for the stomach bug,I guess that came from my house…

  5. Summer says:

    Yes. When it rains, it pours. In more ways than one. I did laugh over the hair thing. My cousin did that to my hair when we were little. Because of that incident, I keep all scissors, shears, etc… up so high I can barely reach them. My cousin and I were just talking about “the hair incident” a few days ago. lol.

  6. Nanan says:

    you remind me of “So” many things that happened when my older children were growing up- and you express them very well– it’s good therpy for you and sure makes me realize I didn’t go thru all these things alone, it may be years apart, but parallel.

    Just remember you aren’t alone in all this- each day God gives us new Mercy and Grace to go thru the day- Hope your evening is peaceful

  7. Looks like another life lesson in actions and consequences for Little B! Some of us just have to learn the hard way I guess….like me as well.

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