In the midst of all of the travesties of life that one must endure, a ray of hope: My new cleaning lady starts tomorrow. Hooray! Hooray! (Feel free to take a moment of silence in revererence. Yeah, buddy, it’s just that big of a deal to me.)
Now, there are bigger topics of conversations that should probably be tackled: The Earthquake, Tsunami and Nuclear crisis in Japan; The UN’s authorization of military force in Libya; the fresh oil slicks surfacing in the Gulf of Mexico…to name only a few. But I’ll leave all of that to the people who are qualified to make commentaries on such matters that effect so many people. I’ll take the lead on this one: The Zohrhouse is going to be CLEANED each and every Wednesday, by someone other than Zohrstruly, and I’m totally digging the whole freaking idea. I’ve been cleaning up Zohrfamily’s messes and wiping and re-wiping and wiping once again things that never stay clean for so long I’m afraid I’ll lose a little of my identity.
On second thought, I don’t give a flying flapjack…I’ll find a new identity. One less concerned with how dusty the hardwood is. Now, don’t misunderstand. A cleaning lady once a week does not a completely pampered queen make of me. I’ll still do laundry. I’ll still have to wipe stuff. Hell, I’ll probably have to wipe it at least twice. But the heavy work, the work that kills my back and my neck and sucks the essence of life right out of me is going to be taken over by someone who seems to have MUCH more energy than I. And for that, I commend her. Thank you in advance, ma’am. Thank you.
As I walked her out yesterday after going over all the details, she said, “Oh, my, there’s some french fries on your front stoop.” “Yeah, I’m not sure how that happened, but don’t worry, I’ve got a cleaning lady coming over this week to take care of it.” Tacky, no? Yes, but it was a JOKE.
When she left, Zohrhubby said, “She’s coming EVERY week?” Spoken like a true man who has never cleaned anything other than his plate for the past 42 years. “Yes, honey…EVERY week that we live here, she will come. And if we move, then she will follow us.” Duh. Jeez.
I don’t think there’s ever been anyone in the history of the human race who was more excited about having someone come over to clean her house. Like. NEVER. I’ll let you guys know how awesome it feels to walk into a clean house tomorrow afternoon without having broken a sweat.