Since I made SUCH a big deal about how stupid excited I was about having hired someone to clean my house, yous guys deserve a status update about how it’s going. Two weeks in, I thanked her for her time and terminated our “relationship”. I broke up with my housekeeper. I am disappointed, to say the least.
Riddle me this, Batman: When you clean a room (and I mean REALLY clean a room, as though someone were PAYING you to clean that room), would you leave, oh, say…crumbs on the couch? Would you neglect to move canisters and bread boxes to clean the countertops, or ignore backsplashes behind stovetops? Maybe I’m too picky. [I only said that in jest, I’m totally not THAT picky, but my mama taught me how to clean and honey, you gotta move the shit OFF the counter!] Maybe the fact that my house was dirty resulted in an assumption being made that I wasn’t very particular at all. But, if it were clean and up to my usual standards, then why would I have hired someone to clean it??
Sigh. I guess I’m doomed to clean my dumb house forever. And it still won’t be up to my standards because physically I just can’t do it all. In one day. Or two. It will never be ALL clean AT THE SAME TIME is all I’m saying. And you know what? There are bigger problems in the world. I recognize that. So, I guess I’ll just pick up my broom and all-purpose cleaner and get to work. And stop bitching about it. And if you come over, be forewarned: It’s not immaculate. But I’ll be doing the best I can do, I assure you.
Don’t bother to recommend another service or person or robot or even a superhero to me, I’m like a forlorn lover emotionally right now, and it will take me some time to trust again…
First the Coffee Pot, then the God-forsaken Sony Dream Machine, and now this. At least it provides a reason to be melancholy during this last cold-snap of the season. I’ll be in the corner sobbing if you need me.
Eh. Maybe my house being clean all the time is not that important. Things could be worse. I could NOT have shoulders. Go on, say it: “Suck it up, Zohrbak. Google some photos of clean houses and feed your need for order and tidiness…and shuddup already.”
Okay, Dear Reader…okay. I hear ya.