Confession Thursday: Kids suck.

No, really, they do.  I’m not talking about just my kids, either.  You’re kids suck, as well. 

 Tween C’s cell phone got stolen at school yesterday while she was in P.E.  Yeah, yeah.  The rule is: no cell phones allowed at school.  (That’s the School Board’s rule, not mine…I’ve actually texted Tween C while she was in Math class to ask her things like “Hey, where’s your kindle?”  Don’t judge me~It’s Thursday)  Anyway, that’s the RULE, but it’s certainly not the PRACTICE.  They KNOW that they bring them.  One substitute teacher even told her class one day that they could take out their cell phones and/or iPods while they did their work, and then she promptly whipped out her iPad and began playing Angry Birds.  Another teacher regularly allows Tween C to call me from her cell phone when she needs me to bring her something.  I know this is allowed, because Tween C will say “hold on” and then ask her teacher to clarify something she’s supposed to ask me to do. 

Also, Tween C regularly “butt dials” my phone during the day.  It happens at least 4 times per week.  I answer, say “Hellooooo…hellloooooo” and can hear a bunch of hormonal lunatics in the background, and nothing more.  So I hang up.  Yesterday at about 1:20, that happened.  I assumed that it was just a butt dial.  But then, about 5 minutes later, Tween C called me from the office.  “Mom, my phone got stolen in P.E., so you need to cancel it or whatever.” 

She explained that she left her phone in her jacket in the locker room, which is always locked during class.  But when they came in to get dressed, the phone was gone.  This had happened about 30 minutes before she called me, and before the call I had gotten from her phone.  I was immediately livid.  The little bastards.  First, they steal the phone, then they place a prank call to the rightful owner’s “Mom”.  What nerve!  I immediately texted Tween C’s phone the following text:

“You need to turn this phone in to the office, and tell them that you found it.  If you do this within the next 20 minutes, then we will not press charges.  There is a tracking program installed on this phone.”

Twenty minutes passed.  No phone.

Then, Zohrmom sent this message:

“I’m sure you just found this phone in the bathroom or something.  You need to give it to an adult so we don’t have to call the police.”

I ranted and raved about this all afternoon on Facebook.  One of my friends texted Tween C’s phone the following:

“What’s funny is that I’m watching you right now.  I’m waiting for you to go home, because that’s where I can do the most damage.  I hate thieves, but you’ll know just how much tonight after you go to sleep.  It’s not that hard to burn down a house, you know.  You can give that phone you have to the office, and then no one gets disfigured.”

Okay, maybe that was a little overboard.  But I loved it.  And what’s more, I could just see the little bastard looking around after reading it, to see who was “watching” her.  And then, when she talked herself out of the message being “for real”, it would be time to go to bed, and then she’d start worrying all over again.  Oh come on!  She deserved it!

Zohrhubby, the resident asshole of the family, called the school to find out what they were going to do about it.  He told me to call, but I balked.  “They aren’t going to do anything, you know” I told him.  But if YOU want to call, you can.  (hint, hint)  ZH: “Give me the number, I’m calling.”  When he finally got in touch with the assistant principal, she told him exactly what I thought she would. 

AP:  “Well, you know, sir, this happens all too often, and we just don’t really get involved.” 

ZH:  “Excuse me?  You don’t GET INVOLVED?”

AP:  “Well, we just don’t.  It happens so much, tha…”

ZH:  “Lady, WHY do you think it happens so much?  Do you think that it might because y’all don’t give a damn about it?  Y’all don’t ask any questions?  There are ZERO consequences for this behavior?  This is a THEFT.  And I’m going to treat it like one.  I am filing a police report, and I am coming up there to talk to the officer you have on duty.  I fully expect you or whoever up there is supposed to handle behavior problems to ask some questions and find out something.  You guys want to suspend kids for talking in class or getting in a fight on the playground, but you want to turn your head when one of them commits a freaking CRIME?  No.  I don’t think so.  Start scaring the crap out of the kids when this happens, and you might just find that it happens less often. And even if it doesn’t, at least you’ll give the little criminals some experience when it comes to being questioned by authorities, since that’s the life you are telling them to lead anyway.”

[Disclaimer:  This is pretty much what ZH said, as he related it to me, and as edited for content and emphasis by Zohrs truly.]

Whatever he said and how he said it, her whole tone changed, and she promised to do everything she could the next day.

So, my point is this:  Kids today have very little consequences for their actions.  They aren’t even SCARED of us anymore.  When I was a kid, I was motivated by fear on a regular basis.  “Hey, you wanna skip school and go to the lake today instead?”  HELL NO!  My mama would have beat my ass. 

One of my mama’s favorite sayings was: ‘I don’t care how big you are, I brought you into this world, and by God, I can take you OUT of it.’

I was also afraid of my school administrators and teachers.  I was a smart ass from the word go, but I knew exactly where to draw the line.  I tried to skip class once with Aimee and Heather, and we just went to the girls’ locker room to hang out, but a teacher came in, and we stood on the stalls in the bathroom. Aimee and Heather both got caught.  I didn’t.  So I snuck right back to class.  Aimee went home and told her mom that she was ill.  Then she mixed up the nastiest mixture of stuff she could find in the kitchen, and waited for her mom to get home, and then made a retching sound and poured it in.  She went through all this trouble because, like me, she was scared of her.  And that’s exactly how it should have been.  NOW, we walk around afraid of teenagers.  There’s no rhyme or reason to what they do, or when they will do it. 

Screw the from the TEENAGERS!

I had one stupid girl steal my dog a couple of years ago, just so that she could call me and tell me she found it and ask for a freakin’ reward.  I’m not even kidding.  She kept my dog for nearly two days. I finally had to call the police.

So, anyway…I doubt we will get the phone back, but I hope all the hoopla we raise over it keeps some other poor kid from having their crap jacked at school. 

Like I said, kids suck.

Oh, and my confession is:  I want that kid to suffer.  I really do.  Maybe not physically, but mentally, I want her to feel pain.  The end.


About zohrbak

Zohrbak is an old email username I had a while's a made-up twist on two characters from Spaceghost. Zorak and Brak. I'm a geek. I am a married, working mother of 4 children, ages 4-15. I also have interests outside of my children, but I can never remember what they are.
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20 Responses to Confession Thursday: Kids suck.

  1. ZOHRMOM says:

    YAY!!!Hope Zohrhubby wins…

  2. Aimee says:

    How come everyone else gets to be a letter in your blog…but I’m just Aimee. Just Aimee. LOL.

    I’m kidding. I obviously don’t care. Everyone else here has a code name….but I’m still just Aimee. LOL.

    And yes. Kids suck. I just found out that that not only did my teenagers have a weekend long party here, but they skipped school on Friday. Dumb-asses. Yes, I said Dumb-asses. I’m going to double their groundation.

    Aimee. Just Aimee.

    • zohrbak says:

      Everyone else (besides my children) made up their own code names, you comment as Aimee. Just Aimee. I did refer to you as a certifiable Zohrbestie once. Which is true on both counts. Tee hee hee.

      Omigod. Your boys are dumb. That makes me feel better. I’m sorry.

      • Aimee says:

        LOL…I know.

        As far as the boys, I’m convinced its the copious amounts of testosterone which is distorting the functionability of their brains.

        OF course, what did I expect, I left a 15 and 17 yr old at home alone for 3 days. Not on purpose, mind you, but thats another story. It couldn’t be helped. Next time, they’ll have a babysitter.

        Just Aimee

  3. Great post. I couldn’t agree more.

    I’m going to need your tween’s cell phone number. I’ll be sending a text along the lines of “You know what, keep the phone. It’s probably the most expensive thing you will ever own in your pathetic little life. When you grow up, it is the phone you will have to use to call your pimp to come pick you up after work at “Hoots and Hollars” after a long night of pole dancing so enjoy it”.

    P.S. Don’t tell my mom I wrote that. She hates foul language and will smack my mouth the next time I see her.

    P.P.S. I’m 34 years old. My mom doesn’t know how to use the internet. I have a better chance of winning the lottery than her reading this, but I’m still scared.

  4. hahaha. Kids most definitely suck. Don’t worry… that kid’ll get hers.

  5. So… I just realized how creepy that sounds. My bad.

  6. From the perspective of a former teacher:
    In “the good old days” parents didn’t call and yell at vice-principals because their kid lost a valuable item. They told their kid that they should have been more careful with their stuff and grounded them for a week or two, if they were lucky. They might have also had to work off the value of the item they lost.
    Yes, times have changed!
    (By now you are thinking that you like it much better when Mother Hen replies.)

    • zohrbak says:

      Well, I can tell you that things have definitely changed since when I was in school. Now, kids get jumped in the bathroom by other students at random. It’s not just a matter of “being careful” with one’s things, when someone is always watching for an opportunity to steal your stuff, and there is absolutely NO retribution for it, whatsoever. This happens every single day. I think that the school has some responsibility when it comes to at least deterring this type of behavior. Don’t you? And by the way, he didn’t yell. He’s just not concerned with niceties, which comes in handy sometimes.

  7. Zohrsis says:

    goooo zorhhubby !!!!

  8. Miz Tiz says:

    I am torn about whose side to be on. I applaud you and husband for holding the school’s feet to the fire. Thefts make me furious at school. I think the kids need to be very very cautious. (I have also had money—$50—stolen from me at school, and it was ASH, not Peabody.) However, I don’t know how to effectively combat it if it happens to one of my students. I can’t hold the whole class in my room till we get it back, and I don’t have authority to search personal property to find it. Occasionally a teacher will get all upset and call the school sheriff’s deputy and they will search, but it usually yields nothing, and it disrupts the routine a ton. One class is held up, and another is out in the hall, and then the other teachers are missing their expected kids……………it’s just painful all the way around. No solution seems to be a good one. In your particular case, if the locker room was supposed to be locked while they were playing games in the gym, then it definitely falls on the PE teacher’s shoulders. She didn’t do what she was supposed to do. I understand that the school has to choose which battles to fight. But this one probably has a basis to fight on.

    I plead guilty to letting a kid I trust use his/her cell phone in my class if they really need to (“don’t you need to go fetch something out of the closet—I think there’s a notebook you left in there” Yes ma’am, I’ll go see”) Problem solved. I didn’t technically break the rule. I would be pissed at you texting your kid in my class, otoh. That’s an invasion of selfishness that would make me irritated. Our unwritten, but well understood, rule at the school where I teach is if we don’t see it or don’t hear it, we assume you don’t have it. But let me hear it go off, or see you take it out and start texting and I will take it from you, label it with your name and turn it in to the office, where your mother will have to pay $15 to get it out of hock. And I will feel smug about it.

    Let us know how this plays out, okay? I’m proud of you and all your friends for their threatening messages in hopes of intimidating the thief. I hope the little jackass had a sleepless night.

    • zohrbak says:

      I agree that it was selfish and inappropriate of me to text my daughter in class for such a trivial reason. And I don’t fault anyone but the kid who stole the damn phone for the theft. I do, however, take issue with the mindset of “if you don’t want it stolen, don’t bring it to school”. That’s like saying “If you don’t want to get raped, don’t go to a bar” but the kiddie version. You know?

      • Miz Tiz says:

        oh baby I agree…………….it sucks when that happens because there’s no easy or fruitful way to handle it. I think the schools should try. I think you and your husband are totally correct to pursue this………….and yes, yes, yes it’s like the kiddie version of the bar statement. I never carry money into school anymore—-ever. I keep my wallet locked up in my car. If I need money during the day, I go out and get it. You just have to be vigilant. I hope you get some resolution on this. Can you work with the phone company who can cancel the minutes?

      • There are situations in which a person accepts liability if they don’t follow the rules. That is one of the reasons schools tell kids not to bring expensive items to school.
        For instance, how many times have you seen signs that say, “Management does not accept responsibility for the loss of personal items”? If there was a sign up saying that in schools, would it make a difference?
        Obviously I agree that stealing is nasty, and it would be great if it never happened, or we could catch everyone who did it and administer a punishment. I think Miz Tiz did a good job of explaining why this usually isn’t practical. In the case of the locker room, there is no way of telling who might have been in there while the class was in the gym. If it should have been locked, that is an issue, and the administration will probably mention this to the teacher.
        Did your daughter have the option of dropping off her cell phone in her locker where it would be locked up and safe before going to gym class? In future, that may be what she will want to do.

      • zohrbak says:

        There are no wars being waged against the school. This post was about how frustrating it is to have kids stealing other kids’ possessions because they are no longer scared of their parents or other authority figures. It wasn’t really about the school at all, hence the title “kids suck” as opposed to “schools suck.” I’m sorry if my comments about the lack of concern on the part of the school “ruffled your feathers” so to speak. But I didn’t intend it to.

    • I’m cool with you, Zohrbak.
      And yes, some kids do suck!

  9. dorquemada says:

    Let’s rethink this. If we can get a future stripper out of this debacle, is that such a bad thing? Because as we already know, strippers are inherently soulless creatures to begin with.

  10. Linda says:

    I appreciate the story, but more the theme. Check out my website: (yes, that’s really its title)

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