Two things:

You spend all your time (and by you I mean me) bitching and moaning about how much trouble your kids are…about how much work goes into raising them…about how you will NEVER be finished with the chaos and the anxiety and the anger and the expense. You likewise spend a large amount of time bitching and moaning about your husband…about how he buys things you don’t think you need…you find fault in his child-rearing techniques…you call him selfish…


And then, one day, you feel bad.  Let’s just say you have some sneaky condition that makes you tired all the time, but occasionally you have days when you cannot do anything.  Your body seems to weigh 800 pounds, and you have to lay down after you take a shower because it just takes too much out of you.  On this particular day, even though you feel like you’ve been hit by a bus, you come to a realization that makes you want to take back every negative word, thought, and action as they pertained to your family.  Because on this day, when you need it the most, they help you.  They ask if you are okay, they bring you water and do the things that normally you would do…and they do them with care because they know how particular you are about certain things.  They ask if they can get you anything, or if there’s anything that they can do to make you feel better.  And when it becomes obvious that there’s nothing that they can do, then, and only then, do they leave you alone, because they sense that that’s the only thing that will help.  And at the end of that day, when you are worried that you might never feel better, the cutest 4 year old girl you’ve ever seen brings you strawberry shortcake in bed…and smiles and asks you if you need more whipped cream.  Now, that’s the stuff right there.  That’s what it’s all about. 

A large family comes with so many responsibilities and deadlines and expenses and chores and sleepless nights and doctor’s visits and headaches.  But a large family also comes with a larger support system, more hugs, more kisses, more laughs and more tender moments. 

I don’t appreciate them enough and it sometimes takes me getting knocked down on my ass to open my eyes and see how blessed and lucky I really am.   How fitting that this realization came to me on Easter Sunday. 


Little B has now been evaluated by the psychologist.  Over the course of the 2 one-hour long sessions each, Little B was interviewed at length, and then Zohrhubby and I were interviewed at length and answered a very long questionnaire.  On our next visit, which is currently scheduled for the end of May, we are supposed to be able to get some “Impressions” from the psychologist.  I am going to call back periodically to see if there are any cancellations to move that appointment up.  I am very pleased so far with this doctor.  He asked all the right questions, listened to all of our rambling and sometimes conflicting answers.  And I have no doubt that he has a complete and accurate picture of our current situation and the problems that Little B has had for so long.  I’m anxious for an answer.  I’ll keep you guys updated on all of this, and I appreciate your support…You have NO idea how much it helps me. 



About zohrbak

Zohrbak is an old email username I had a while's a made-up twist on two characters from Spaceghost. Zorak and Brak. I'm a geek. I am a married, working mother of 4 children, ages 4-15. I also have interests outside of my children, but I can never remember what they are.
This entry was posted in bad kids, Bad mother, Family, Parenthood, Spirituality, The Joys of Parenthood and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Two things:

  1. Zohrsis says:

    For all the times you question yourself, this is your answer. Love you sista.

  2. Will be praying for you & your family! Sure hope you get to feeling better.

  3. Nanan says:

    Hate to hear that you aren’t feeling well, hope you get better soon.I understand about the situation with Little B. We had the youngest of six that we had the same kind of things that we had to go thru. After your visit, make sure IF medication is suggested that you keep a REALLY close check on how it works with your little guy. Sometimes it isn’t the correct one and there are side effects. But if the doctor and psychologist work together it can be affective and will make your life and Little B’s life where he can be more into what’s going on. One thing we learned was – their little minds are about four times faster than ours, very smart people and get bored with the SLOW pace that everyone else seems to live in. They have awesome imaginations and if they could sit down and write a book it would be a best seller- some of our little guy’s sayings were” Nanan, what if, in our world, life could be like—–. And he would come up with some REALLY great things, that would make you ask- why not? Just don’t give up – it’s a long slow process, the older they get the harder but it’s all worth it. God bless and hope you have a great week

  4. YaYa says:

    Your kids take such good care of you b/c you are raising them to be compassionate little people!

  5. spiceblogger says:

    sooo sweet. You are very lucky to have so many “little people” in your house who love you.

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