So, we are all up to speed now and well aware that I purchased a Sony Dream Machine some time ago, and I’ve bitched about it ever since.
Zohrhubby surprised me with an early Mother’s Day present about three days ago: It’s a Phillips iPhone docking station/radio/alarm clock. I was half asleep when he gave it to me, so I think I said thank you, but I’m not sure. He offered right away to open it and set everything up right then and there. I definitely remember telling him no. I was tired and I didn’t feel like messing with anything. He had a ho hum sort of response that told me (the next day, when I recalled all of this from my sleepy fog) that I had hurt his feelings.
But I hadn’t asked for anything. And the bitchy side of me will admit to you that I hate it when he buys stuff, even when it’s a present for me or one of the kids. It’s just more STUFF. And I’m politically opposed to stuff. Especially stuff in excess. Besides, he knows that I have a really bad attitude about alarm clocks, for obvious reasons, particularly the one that has sat next to my sleeping face for the past 8 months or so. I was eventually planning to do some research and find an alarm clock that will suit my very unique needs (which includes, among other things, actually being AWAKEN FROM SLEEP AT A PRE-DETERMINED TIME). But he jumped the gun and bought me what he wanted to. I’m sure that he felt like it was a perfect gift for me, since he knows that I was unhappy with the Godforsaken Sony Dream Machine. But I wasn’t exactly happy about it, honestly.
The next day, when I realized that I was being a bitch, because sometimes there is a 24 hour delay on my emotional self-awareness mood detector, I did feel bad about it. That evening, he asked if I had set up the docking station thingy, and I admitted that I hadn’t. I then made myself say, in the most sincere voice I could muster, “But I will in a minute. I do like it, by the way, and thanks, if I didn’t say that to you already.”
I did try to set it, and I wasn’t smart enough to figure it out without reading the “Quick Start” guide, which is always a bad sign. Once I did, and was able to perch my iPhone on the docking station, and saw that it would charge my phone while I slept, and within arm’s reach, where, when I am notified at 11:00 p.m. that Black Cat has taken her turn at Words with Friends, I could reach over and take my turn if I so desired, I was pretty stoked about this new doo-hicky. I set it to “Alarm” at 6:00 a.m., took notice that the shortest “snooze” time was 15 minutes (WTF??!!) and went to sleep.
The next morning it wasn’t my newfangled alarm clock that woke me up, it was Zohrhubby hitting me in the back of my head with his open hand. “GET UP! TURN THAT ALARM OFF!” What alarm? I don’t hear any alarm? Oh…THAT? It was really ridiculous how low it was. I remembered that I had set it on the loudest possible buzzer, but hadn’t tested it to see just how loud the loudest buzzer was. Now I knew, it was just a little louder than that inside-your-mouth belch you do when there are guests over and you are trying to be polite. Worthless. I turned the thing off and got up, but I was late. How late, you might ask? Approximately 15 minutes late. That’s translates to two-cups-of-coffee-deficient in starting my day, dearies.
Last night, I decided to give it another shot. This time, I set it to wake me with a playlist from my phone. I set it to the loudest Mumford & Sons song I could find on the album that I listen to all the time. This morning, once again, I was not awakened by my alarm. Instead, my early morning dreams were enhanced and set to my favorite playlist. It’s as though my completely non-memorable dream had it’s own soundtrack. Once again, Zohrhubby had commit battery upon me to get me out of bed.
There’s one last setting that I need to try. It’s the RADIO alarm. Maybe it will be louder than the other two options. If not, I’m totally putting that bitch back in the box and telling ZH to return it. I’m going to spend a lot of time researching before I make another purchase. But I have to admit, maybe all this is just user error. Maybe it’s not you, Sony Dream Machine, maybe it’s me. Maybe I’ll give you another chance.
Or maybe I’m just going to get a rooster.