Don’t Mourn for Us

Read this, about Jim Sinclair.

Then, read this:

Don’t Mourn For Us, by Jim Sinclair

Very moving.  No?

Then know this about me:  I do have a tendency to mourn.  However, I am not mourning for a son that never came.  I’m simply mourning for the life I thought we’d live.  I’m mourning for the hardships that my son faces every single day of his life because things overwhelm him in very inexplicable ways.  I’m also mourning for the fact that I’m mourning, and I’m feeling guilty as hell about it all. 

I want to qualify the above statements by saying this:  I’m not dissatisfied with my life, or my children, or my family, or anything that’s touched by any of those things.  But I can’t lie and say that it’s not hard, or that I sometimes think I’m not strong enough to shoulder the responsibilities that I’ve been given by God.  And then I realize that to feel that way does my son and my family and my friends and myself a great disservice.  And I try to cheer up and get over myself.  But sometimes that’s harder to do than other times.  We are nearing the start of a fresh, new year.  And while I want to stay positive and think that it’ll be better and happier and easier and all that, I am at best a realist.  And I know that there will always be struggles.  We all have struggles.  All of us.  I’m no better or worse off than you.  Our struggles are all relative.  I’ve got mine, and you’ve got yours.  I pray that we each find our way in the coming year to feel strong and confident and powerful and in control.  Because there will always be struggles, in one form or another. 

Maybe Oprah can show us how to be all these things on her new show. 


About zohrbak

Zohrbak is an old email username I had a while's a made-up twist on two characters from Spaceghost. Zorak and Brak. I'm a geek. I am a married, working mother of 4 children, ages 4-15. I also have interests outside of my children, but I can never remember what they are.
This entry was posted in Family, Parenthood, Pervasive Developmental Disorder, The Joys of Parenthood and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Don’t Mourn for Us

  1. spiceblogger says:

    That essay was moving, insightful, well-thought out and written.
    WOW. just wow……..

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